We have reached the final Love in Action day devoted to loving our husbands. Don’t quit! Keep performing these loving actions throughout the rest of the challenge as well, even as we move on to loving our children. Don’t let those little cuties bump out your main squeeze.

Love in Action Day 7

Today’s action may in fact be one of the most important things you can ever do for your marriage and your man.

Listen.

Turn off your computer. Close your book. Teach the children to not interrupt. Put the cell phone on “Shush.”

Look him in the eyes and truly listen.

Don’t let your mind wander while he’s speaking. Don’t roll your inner eyes and grit your teeth, waiting for him to finish.  Don’t think you know what he’s going to say and finish for him.  Don’t spend your listening time thinking about what you’ll say or about a parallel story.

Respect him.  Whatever he has to say is important enough to him that he wants to share it with you. He cares enough about you to make himself vulnerable by sharing his thoughts.

Give this the importance it deserves.

Then, kick it up a notch. Don’t just listen, but take an active interest in his life. Ask questions. Learn about his passions.  Make them your own.

My husband and I benefit from this first hand.

My man was raised in the United States Air Force and developed a strong interest in airplanes, the crane-your-head-at-the-sound-of-an-engine-and-risk-life-and-limb-to-see-a-plane kind of boyish enthusiasm. He could accurately name a military or civilian plane by catching a mere glimpse on the horizon. It’s impressive, actually.

I was raised on a farm where I lived and breathed horses. I did homework on my horse’s back, shed tears into manes instead of pillows, and spent many a Wisconsin winter night sleeping in the barn to monitor a sick horse friend. I still have that girlish desire to inhale the sweet scent of horses and kiss their soft noses, even though I now tend sick children at night instead of horses.

Over the years, I spent many afternoons with my husband at the airport watching planes land, and I developed a fairly solid ability to identify several kinds of airplanes on sight.  I even cheered him on as he worked toward his pilot’s license. Not bad for a country girl. He spent enough time listening to the crazy horse talk in this house, that he can identify a fair number of breeds, and even carted the whole family to the Kentucky Horse Park 2000 miles away. Not bad for a city boy.

He doesn’t have a plane, and I don’t have a horse, but we each have the knowledge that the other cares enough to listen, to dream with us, and to share our interests out of love.

Enough about horse-crazy girl meets airplane-nut…emphasis on “crazy” and “nut”!

What’s your story? What does your man love to talk about?

Learn to share his interests.  It will make you both happier.

Remember, keep up the Love in Action throughout the next week as we focus on children. 

For your listening pleasure: Enjoy listening together to two moving Nashville-produced CDs by my talented husband, contemporary Christian musician Stephen Bautista.  Free song downloads are available on his site.

Get your free downloads here. 

This Love in Action is linked up to Walk With Him Wednesdays at A Holy Experience.

Love in Action Day 6

Today and for the rest of the Love in Action Challenge, you’re going to have lots of fun.  This one is really easy.

Touch.

Make a physical connection with your husband as often as you can.

Touch his shoulder.

Kiss his nose.

Smooch him in front of your children. They’ll shout “Eeeewwww!” but they will enjoy the security of knowing Mommy and Daddy love each other.

Sit as close together as possible.

Rest your head on his shoulder.

Hug him whenever you can.

Sit on his lap.

Kiss him like you mean it, even if he forgot to brush his teeth . . . but don’t forget to brush yours.

Dance together to that crazy 90s song you’ve had stuck in your head all week.

Rub his feet, his neck, his back.

And yes, swat his bottom when you walk past him in the kitchen.

For some, this physical contact already comes naturally.  Others have grown distant, and this will be more of a challenge. Start small, and don’t expect him to respond over night if touch has become foreign to you.

If you are a mother of little children, you may have touch overload, with little hands tugging and climbing and pinching and making jelly handprints on your only clean shirt all day every day.  (I love those little hands!)  Little ones in your life needing physical contact throughout the day in no way negates your husband’s need for physical contact.  Don’t deprive him.

Have fun with it!  He’s your man.  Claim him with a kiss.

Will this challenge be hard or easy for you?

Top couple photo credit. Bottom couple photo credit.

A great way to show love is to give your time for someone else.  Time is such a precious commodity, that its value cannot be measured.

I have yet to find a reader that doesn’t agree with that sentiment.  Nevertheless, this is the Love in Action post that seems to be the most controversial.

Love in Action Day 5

Your mission, should you choose to accept it, involves showing your love in a manner that can be as simple or complex as you choose.

Give your time to serve your husband.

What does this mean exactly?

It could mean any number of things.  It depends, actually, on your husband.  Primarily, you want to show with actions that you are thinking of him and that he is a priority in your life. To get your wheels turning, here are a few ideas.

• Get up and make coffee for your working man before he leaves to go to the office.  I know it may be hard to get up before you need to, but it’s probably hard for him to leave a cozy bed to go to work and support his family some days as well.

• Make it a priority to maintain some aspect of the home that is important to him, such as a tidy family room or a clean van.

• Get a handle on his laundry so he always has a full sock drawer, his favorite jeans, an ironed work shirt, a clean bath towel, or whatever he needs.

• Be sure his favorite relaxing spot is never filled with a pile of unfolded laundry or mail.

• Pack him a lunch so he doesn’t have to do it himself, and put a sweet note in to show you are thinking of him.

• Assess your procrastination list and put his needs at the top — fix a button, schedule an appointment, plan a surprise.  Just do it.

• Look for something on his to-do list that you can take over to give him a break, such as the filing, a trip to the post office, or paying bills.

• Fill his truck with gas and tidy it up.

• Replace that infernally empty toilet paper roll.

You get the idea.

Whatever you do, do it with love.

No, I am not even remotely implying that you are a hired servant; neither is he your Mr. Moneybags.  In marrying each other, you have each chosen to serve the other in love throughout your lives. Even if you both work, there are simple ways you can show your commitment to him.

I know that this sounds very 1950s Cleaveresque.  But it works!  Love in action works.  Loving service works.  Mutually serving one another works!  Battling over roles, pointing fingers, and whining–they don’t work so well.

Perform your loving service with joy, and with no thought of receiving anything in return (although this may rub off on him).  You may surprise yourself to discover how fun it can be to think of different ways to show your hero how much you truly care.

Don’t forget to keep it going for the rest of the Love in Action weeks, or the rest of your marriage.

Dear children, let us not love with words or speech
but with actions and in truth.

~I John 3:18

Share your loving service ideas below!

Linked up to Homemakers Challenge and Weekend Whatever.

Photo credit

In the old adage rings an element of truth:

The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.

Have you ever noticed that most men don’t complicate life to the same extent as women.  If their basic needs are fulfilled, they’re generally content.  It is within our power to fulfill those basic needs and make our men happy. That leads to our next loving action.

Love in Action Day 4