The Simple Homemaker

When a Good Deal Isn’t

Christy — Fri, 03 May 2013 02:58:41 +0000

We’ve all been there. It’s a deal too good to pass up. Sure, you don’t neeeeeed another jacket/outfit/book/purse/project/cat/boardgame/ebook, but it’s just so functional/chic/educational/cute/darling/pathetic/fun/helpful that it’s too good to pass up.

Is it really?

How do you know if something is really too good to pass up? The following seven introspective questions will help you decide that for yourself.

As an example I will use the current Homemaking Bundle, which is all the rage on the blogosphere. How do you know if it’s worth it to spend $29.97 on $640 worth of ebooks and ecourses plus $140 worth of “free” bonus offers? Wowzers, Lady, that sounds too good to pass up. I know…but is it really?

To find out if you should jump on a good deal or tell it to pound sand, ask yourself these seven questions:

1. Will you use it?

If you have 50 unread ebooks waiting around for you, and you really don’t read ebooks or haven’t tapped in to the last three amazing offers you jumped on, what makes you think this one will be any better? Be honest with yourself. (I bought because I can garner further tips to share with you and my children, and because some will make great gifts.)

2. Will it be clutter?

Is there a place for what you want to buy? Yes, the ebooks are electronic and won’t take up any actual shelf space, but they can become electronic clutter. If you are not going to use them or give them away, they will sit on your device or “cloud” taking up space.

3. Is it in the budget?

If you’re dipping into the food budget for money to spend on the next great deal, you should shell out $5 for From Debtor to Better and learn how to manage your money. Anything that causes you to overspend is not a good deal, even if it’s “only” 31 cents a book.

4. Can you make money off of it or use it as a gift…and will you?

If you intend to give away many of the ebooks for wedding showers, baby showers, Mother’s Day, birthdays, or Christmas, that’s great! If you want to use them as giveaways on your blog or even sell them, that’s terrific. BUT–and that’s a big but–will you? You know your track record. Are your somedays piling up so high that it would take your great grandchildren to finish up the list? If so, don’t add another someday to the pile.

5. Do you need it?

I’m not saying you’re not allowed to buy anything except oxygen, a couple hydrogens, and some food. But ask yourself if each purchase will benefit your family in both the short term and the long run. In the case of the ebook bundle, if you are actively trying to learn to be a better home manager in the area of cleaning, cooking, raising children, marriage, finances, maintenance, and more, this is a fantastic purchase. If you don’t give a rat’s patootie about homemaking, why are you even reading my blog?

6. Will it trump your family?

Don’t bring anything into your life that will rob your family of time together, space, and money. In the case of the homemaking ebook collection, if you are a disciplined reader and read for half an hour in the morning and at night while the kids are in bed, great! If you find yourself neglecting your duties and family while staring at your Kindle, not so great.

7. Do you have one just like it?

How many ebooks about losing weight, eating real foods, or surviving pregnancy do you need? How many church dresses does your preschooler need? How many pairs of shoes do you need? How many purses do you need? How many toys does your dog need? How much stuff do you need? Get it? Good.

But, Christy, it’s just too good to pass up.

Is it more important to you to spend money on yet another _______, and have to store another ________, and have to take care of another ________, than to save that space, money, and time for your family?

I don’t intend to make you feel guilty every time you spend money, but you should be aware and conscientious. Every time money goes out of your home and stuff comes into your home because of a deal too good to pass up, you are increasing the amount of time your spouse or you spend working to earn the money, and increasing the amount of time you or your spouse spends cleaning, maintaining, storing, or otherwise managing more stuff.

If you don’t need it, have no space for it, can’t afford it, don’t have time to manage it, won’t use, or it will distract you, than it is not a good deal. Period.

In the case of the ultimate homemaking ebook collection, I earn a nice commission off every purchase, money I use to fund my homeschool. Naturally, I like it when someone buys through my link, ‘cuz that means I can buy math books! BUT–and that’s an even bigger but than the last one--I don’t want anyone buying just because it’s a good deal, because if you don’t have the space, time, or money, then a good deal simply isn’t. Plus spending money on something that will only result in physical (or electronic) clutter and financial complexity goes against everything I stand for here at The Simple Homemaker!

So…if you’ve read this and with a good conscience can buy that jacket/outfit/book/purse/project/ cat/boardgame or super awesome homemaking collection, then go for it! (And do use my ebook collection link if you don’t mind.) But if not, please walk away and be content with what you have, because chances are you have enough. After all, to quote Mary Poppins, who is practically perfect in every way and therefore must know, “Enough is as good as a feast.”

$600 Homemaking E-bundle for $29.97

Christy — Mon, 29 Apr 2013 11:41:20 +0000

I’ve got an amazing deal for you today. I don’t want to waste your time on words, so I’ll keep it short and sweet…or at least short.

More than 75 bloggers and authors have combined 97 ebooks and ecourses to create the homemaking bundle of all homemaking bundles. It is valued at over $600, but it will only cost you $29.97! Me too, ‘cuz I already bought it. Grin.

The topics include mothering, organizing, cleaning, cooking, kitchen tips, homeschooling, faith building, decorating, pregnancy, baby care, frugal living, health, fitness, financial tools, work-from-home resources…whew! I think there’s more, but my fingers are out of breath, so just check it all out below.

Ten companies are also offering over $140 in bonus offers. Cool beans, eh?

Enough from me. Check it out down below. (The books and products I owned before this sale are marked with ***. The books I’m really psyched about reading are marked with +++. Do I want all these books? No way. I’ve got a life! But the price for the bundle is far better than the price of just the books I want. The rest would make great Mother’s Day gifts! Also, please note that I do get a commission from each sale. Read more about that at the bottom.)

What’s Included in the Sale?

When you purchase The Ultimate Homemaking eBook collection, you receive instant access to all of the 97 eBooks and eCourses listed below.

PLUS over $140 of FREE Bonuses

Please note: This collection is only available from 9 a.m. EST on April 29th to 11:59 p.m. EST on May 4th. ”They” tell me there will be no late sales offered.

PLUS, You will receive FREE Bonuses from these companies…

+++ A FREE Two-Month Membership to Fit2B Studio, where their wholesome workouts for the whole family are tummy safe and particularly target Diastasis Recti (split abs). ($19.98 value. No shipping restrictions.) +++ Very exciting!

A $15 store credit to TruKid. With products like their award-winning sun care, they are dedicated to providing all natural skin and hair care for kids, babies, and now pets. ($15.00 value. Standard shipping applies. International shipping available.)

*** Your choice of incredible natural products like sea salt and clay for FREE. Choose from the Redmond Trading Earthpaste Bundle ($24.90 value) or the Facial Mud Bundle ($26.90 value). (Standard shipping applies. Continental US only.) *** Love these products!

*** Your choice of a FREE heirloom sourdough starter or FREE yogurt starter from Cultures for Health, the leading supplier of starter cultures and supplies for making cultured and fermented foods ($12.95 value. US & CAN addresses only. Standard shipping applies.) *** Longtime fans!

Your choice of: a FREE 3-Month Subscription (for new accounts) or 30% off a One Year Subscription. Plan to Eat is an online menu planner that uses your recipes, scheduled for the days you want them. ($15.00 value. No shipping restrictions.)

A FREE Culinary Herbs Assorted Seed Pack Check just in time for spring planting from www.wheatgrasskits.com, a living whole foods company. ($11.95 value. Standard shipping applies to all US states and territories- no international shipping for seeds.)

+++ Get $10 off Union28′s original “my husband rocks” tee. Their marriage apparel lets you celebrate your spouse in style. ($10.00 value. Standard shipping rates apply. International shipping available, but free shipping only available within USA.)

A $10 store credit plus 1 FREE lip balm from Bee All Natural. Their whole body products nourish and heal, and are made using only the highest quality, food grade, organic ingredients. ($13.49 value. Standard shipping applies. International shipping available.)

A FREE 2 oz. bottle of your choice of liquid herbal formula from TriLight Health. They specialize in fast acting, great tasting natural herbal remedies. ($12.95 value or more. Standard shipping applies, within the USA only.)

Your choice of 3 FREE ePlanners OR a 3-Month FREE Membership to ListPlanIt, whose mobile lists will help to organize your life. ($15.00 value. No shipping restrictions.)

The fine print:

Bonus Offers

Each bonus offer can be redeemed once only per eBook Bundle purchase.
For each bonus offer, transaction numbers or proof of purchase may be required at the time of redemption.
All bonus offers are free gifts from the bonus sponsors, are their sole responsibility to provide, and are subject to availability.
All bonus offers expire at midnight on May 19th, 2013 (2 weeks from the last day of this sale).

General

It is your responsibility to download and back-up your purchase within the 1-month download time-frame. With proof of purchase, we can renew download links up until August 1st, 2013. After this date we will no longer have access to the books and will not be able to provide any new links to download.
Due to the nature of this sale, there will be no refunds available. However, we would invite you to read our Frequently Asked Questions page to learn more about the file types, the download process, how the bonus offers work, etc.

Please note: This collection is only available from 9 a.m. EST on April 29th to 11:59 p.m. EST on May 4th. There will be no late sales offered, so make sure that you get your bundle right away!

Particularly for those wanting to read these ebooks on their mobile devices (iPhones or iPads, Android, Kindle, etc.) you will want to learn more about the file types, how to download them correctly, and how to transfer them to your device.

This post includes affiliate links, and I make a portion of the sale of each ebook bundle. As usual, all proceeds from The Simple Homemaker go to support my obsession with homeschooling and raising great kids! But you know I don’t promote things I don’t believe in. Hey, I bought the bundle, and my money and I are not easily parted…just ask my kids. So there ya go!

How to Wash a Pillow the Simple Way

Christy — Wed, 17 Apr 2013 12:10:18 +0000

I recently read an article in All You Magazine (prime bathroom literature, my friends) which claimed that after two years, 1/10 of the weight of your pillow is made up of dust mites and their waste…as in itty bitty little dust mite poo.

That’s kinda gross.

I have had the same pillow for, hmmm, let’s round down to 10 years, so if every two years 1/10 of the weight is replaced by mites and mite-poo, and I’ve had mine for 10 years, that 10 divided by 2 times 1/10 equals…ewwww…50%.

Even with my faulty math, that almost makes me want to buy a new pillow.

But I love my buggy, pooey pillow.

Lucky for me, the article was kind enough to explain how to wash a pillow, a bit of information I am kind enough to pass on to you, in case you, too, love your buggy, pooey pillow.

How to Wash a Pillow

Check the washing instructions. Most pillows are machine-washable. (If mine says it is not machine washable, I wash it in the machine anyway. Yes, even feather pillows…but you most certainly did not hear that from me. The only exception in my home is very old pillows that will not survive the process, or those, like my son’s with more holes than casing due to a few too many pillow fights.)
Wash two normal-sized pillows or one jumbo pillow at a time to keep your machine balanced. You don’t want it doing a fox-trot across the floor.
Set your machine to the longest, hottest cycle.
Use liquid detergent, since, supposedly, powder detergent leaves a residue. I can’t imagine why someone who’s been sleeping on a pound of dust mite poo would care too much about a little detergent residue, but, I guess dust mite poo is “all-natural,” so, there ya go.
Run the pillows through the rinse cycle twice.
Toss the pillows in the dryer with a couple tennis balls or dryer balls to fluff them up and speed up the drying process.
Dry your pillows completely at medium-high or high heat until dry. It may take several cycles. Check the pillows between each cycle, and consider letting your dryer rest for half an hour between cycles so it doesn’t burn out. Yup, it happens. Boo.
Be sure the pillows are completely dry by squeezing them with your hands to feel for moisture. Optionally, squeeze them with a paper towel. If any moisture shows up, pop those babies back in the dryer. It is not unusual for the drying process to take 3-4 hours.
Use an allergen pillow case from here on out to prevent a reinfestation of mites and their poo.

I think I said the word “poo” far too much in this post.

Check out the comment section for some helpful questions and answers.

Do you have any tips for how to wash a pillow?

Also, I am happy to tackle any other obscure homemaking tasks you’d like demystified. I warn you, I don’t “homemake” by the rules, but I’m happy to answer questions…the simple way.

A Widow in Need and a Handcrafted Soap Giveaway ($25 Value)

Christy — Mon, 08 Apr 2013 03:54:05 +0000

Please read: To help a fellow mother who was recently widowed, I am joining with other bloggers who are introducing you to Mae’s Handcrafted Natural Soap. Because we live on the road full-time, I have not been able to receive a sample of the soap to review personally. The following information is based on reviews done by other bloggers who have tried the soap and know Mae personally, and a bit is based on personal research.

To enter the giveaway, please scroll down past the review.

To read Mae’s story written by one of her close friends, please scroll down past the giveaway.

Reader, Meet Mae’s Soap!

I have an on-again, off-again relationship with handmade soap. When I have it, I use it and I love it. When I run out, I don’t use it, and I’m bummed…but not so bummed that I stop using soap, so you can still stand downwind of me. I love handmade soap. I love the colors, the smells, the textures, and the ingredients.

I also love that it doesn’t have a lot of nasties in it. I don’t totally wig out over nasties in our soap (because wigging out over anything is not part of my simple philosophy), but when I have the option, I go nasty-free. It makes me happy, and I like to be happy. So there you go.

I just learned about Mae’s Handcrafted Natural Soaps that have no nasties. What I found interesting is that Mae uses real tallow in her soap. My knowledge of tallow is limited to candle making in the Little House books, so I did a little research at a site called beeftallow.com. (There is now officially a website for everything.)

Wow! Tallow rocks the soap-making world! Tallow soap lasts longer than a regular bar of soap, is non-allergenic, doesn’t get slimy in the shower, and moisturizes the skin. Tallow has a number of other benefits as well, but hey, did you read the part about not getting slimy in the shower? What more could you ask for!

Mae uses other gentle, pure ingredients as well. To ensure a more luxurious lather from her soaps, Mae adds coconut oil. Olive oil is soothing for the skin, so, naturally, Mae has popped that in there, too! Lightly scented with essential oils, Mae’s soaps reportedly leave you smelling fresh, but you won’t knock anyone out with an overwhelming aroma when you waft past them.

And look how pretty!

Want some? Yup, so do I.

Reader, Win Mae’s Soap!

You can win one of six $25-gift certificates to select your favorites from Mae’s Natural Handcrafted Soap. Enter the Rafflecopter below (if it isn’t there, just click the link).

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Reader, Meet Mae!

This review and giveaway is on behalf of a dear friend and sister in Christ who unexpectedly lost her beloved husband in February of this year. He left Mae and a young son behind, reeling from their loss.

Mae’s husband had been out of work for a year, living off of a small military pension. The family, understandably, had to cut back on expenses – one of which was their life insurance policies. His sudden death now leaves Mae and their son with very little income (less than a couple hundred dollars a month). Because of different personal situations, she is currently ineligible for benefits like Social Security. Mae homeschools their son, and, thanks to The Home School Foundation, she will receive a grant to cover homeschooling supplies and curriculum. She is asking the Lord to provide for her son and herself through her small businesses, one of which is making soaps and other body products.

As you can see, the situation is dire for this sweet widow and her son, but we know that God is able to do more than we could ever think, or ask (Eph. 3:20), and we hope that you will consider joining up with us to help our dear friend by supporting her business.

We’re asking you, dear readers, to seriously consider the call of James 1:27—to care for widows and orphans and consider Mae’s Handcrafted Natural Soaps for your next soap purchase.

Pure and undefiled religion before God and the Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their trouble, and to keep oneself unspotted from the world. James 1: 27

Anyone who knows Mae is touched by her. She is an incredibly godly woman, who acts as a Titus 2 mentor to those who know her. She is loved dearly and we want to do all we can to support her during this incredibly difficult time! Please pass this on by sharing this giveaway on Facebook and Twitter.

A big thank you to all the bloggers participating:
Ann @ DuctTapeandDenim.com
Anne @ Authentic Simplicity
Tara @ Everyday Ramblings of My Life
Jill @ Jill’s Home Remedies
Sara Elizabeth @ A Mama’s Story
Gail @ The Imperfect Housewife
Renee @ I Am The Clay
Del @ Devote & Seek
Jill @ Blessed Beyond a Doubt
Rebecca @ Rebecca’s Ramblings
Hilary @ Accidentally Green
Marci @ Amazing Graze Farm
Susan @ Learning and Yearning
Erin @ The Humbled Homemaker
Justyn @ Creative Christian Mama
Chelsea Rebecca @ For Unmarried Christian Women
Chelsea Rebecca @ Hearts for Home
Paula @ Whole Intentions
Amy @ A Heart Surrendered Blog
Bambi @ In the Nursery of the Nation
Dana @ Clan Chris Dean
Kristen @ Smithspirations
Caroline @ The Modest Mom Blog
Alicia @ Walking In Faith
Stephani @ The Cheapskate Cook
Amber @ Homemaker by Choice
Marci @ Thankful Homemaker
Katie Sullivan @ Brighton Park Blog
Anjanette @ Raising the Barrs
Pam @ Mom Does Reviews
Kristy @ Little Natural Cottage
Stacy @ Something Whimsical
Natalie @ Visionary Womanhood
Paula @ Beautiful Life of Joy
Rachel @ Of Love and Beauty
Reagan @ The Arsenal
Kelly @ Generation Cedar
Kelly @ Practical Savings
Stacy Karen @ A Delightful Home
Kristen @ Five in Tow
Diana @ A Little Bit of Spain
Elizabeth @ Yes They Are All Ours
Jacque @ Deep Roots at Home
Karrilee @ Abiding Love, Abounding Grace
Karrilee@ Blessed Memories Scrapbooks by Karrilee
Shawnee @ The Apronista
Adrienne @ Whole New Mom
Janine @ True Aim Education
Kathryn @ Singing Through the Rain
Alicia @ Fun Reviews and Giveaways
Deborah @ A Delightful Glow
Stephanie @ The King’s Bookworm
Christy @ The Simple Homemaker
June @ A Wise Woman Builds Her Home
Shadedlily @ With Them
Joy @ Artful Homemaking

Why I Don’t Post More Often (I Blame Peter)

Christy — Fri, 05 Apr 2013 12:50:27 +0000

I have a confession to make. Sometimes I miss blog post deadlines. In fact, I’m “supposed” to be posting twice a week, and sometimes I only post twice a month. Oops.

I just missed a deadline. I blame Peter.

You see, Peter was madly in love with Lucy. He loved her so much that he promised to change his name to Jack if she would marry him. True story. So Lucy said yes and Peter-Jack was happy, but Lucy needed a dress.

So I made her one.

It took me all morning to make Lucy a wedding dress with a poofy skirt and poofy sleeves and a veil that went all the way to the floor and a princess crown and a necklace, all out of paper towel, scotch tape, and tissues.

Then Peter-Jack got cold feet, and hid in the van under a blanket with the figs and extra undies. Lucy was devastated, so I hunted down Peter-Jack and reminded him of all the things he loves best about Lucy—her floppy neck, her button eyes, her permanent marker smile, how her insides leak out of her right foot, and the two boingy braids popping right out of the top of her head. She’s a vision.

Peter was smitten once again. Can you blame him?

Peter-Jack and Lucy were married in a quiet ceremony in our travel trailer. It was beautiful. Then they had a lot of babies, in, like, five minutes. In fact, I’m babysitting right now. (Not to make you jealous, but Lucy fit into her wedding dress seconds after those babies were born.)

Sometimes it’s Peter-Jack and Lucy that keep me from blogging. Sometimes it’s a loose tooth or a sliver. Sometimes it’s the words “One more chapter, Mama!” or “I need a snuggle.” Sometimes it’s a phone call from Grandma. Sometimes it’s “Babydoll, what do you think about…?” (Yup, my man calls me Babydoll.)

I blog about simplifying. I preach making life less complicated and finding joy in the simple things.

The simple things:

The laughter of a child. The chatting of a teen. The comfortable closeness of a husband. The fleeting wonder of a baby. Eye contact. The discovery of a butterfly or a new-to-us bird. Playing games. Collecting flowers, shells, rocks, memories. Listening to dreams. Planning futures. Telling stories. Sharing memories. Walking dogs. Connecting across miles and generations. Making wedding dresses out of scotch tape and paper towels. Four-year-old wedding singers in pink pajamas.

Those are the simple things I’m not willing to miss.

I’m not willing to put my kids in daycare or preschool, give up homeschooling, jeopardize our Christian music mission, or hire someone else to take on my God-given role as mother to these children just so I can write about my simple biscuit recipes or how to make baking powder or even the value of a homemaker. I’m not willing to pay someone else to do my job so I can make a little more money online. I’m not willing to take time away from my children so I can write posts encouraging other parents to spend time with their children. It’s a sacrifice I am not willing to make.

I’m not willing to stress myself out, stress my family out, or make every day and every family activity revolve around a blog post or deadline.

And if my blog suffers for it, okay. If it doesn’t flourish, okay. If it doesn’t grow as fast as the other blogs, okay. That’s a sacrifice I can live with.

But missing out on the simple, precious moments with my family, losing minutes, days, years with my loved ones, not being fully there for them, that’s a sacrifice I cannot, I will not make. I will not sacrifice my family on the altar of anything this world has to offer.

I’ve been there, and I can’t go back. That lifestyle’s parenting mantra is “in a minute,” and its reward is regret as those minutes turn to years and the moment is gone forever.

So if you notice from time to time that you are not hearing from me, that my Facebook page is quiet and my Twitter is tweetless, that I haven’t been pinning and that there hasn’t been a new post in a while, understand that my silence is shouting this:

“Nothing is worth more than these few, precious, fleeting moments with the people you love. Don’t sacrifice that…ever.”

I have to run. I hear Lucy and Peter-Jack had another set of quintuplets and they need a babysitter. I’m their girl!

I’d love to hear your thoughts.

How To Bake a Ham – My Simple Recipe and Guide

Christy — Fri, 29 Mar 2013 16:40:10 +0000

I love a good, juicy ham on Easter and Christmas (and any day in between). Too often the hams we’ve had are dry, expensive and sickeningly sweet, even when we bought the high-priced, big name hams from the ham store. It’s enough to make a person sit down and cry into her taters. Therefore, we took it upon ourselves to find the cheapest, tastiest method of preparing ham that we could…just for you. You’re welcome.

How to Bake a Ham – A Simple Guide

(photo credit)

What do I need?

a ham
pan
one cup water (optional)
aluminum foil
meat thermometer
oven
optional ingredients for an optional sauce – ours only requires brown sugar and a sauce pan

Which ham should I buy?

The most convenient ham is, naturally, the spiral-sliced. Our experience with spiral cut, however, is that they dry out very easily. Because they are already cut, the heat has more surface area from which to draw moisture. Nothing can prevent moisture loss to some extent, not even the reams of aluminum foil we use to try and prevent its drying out.

For that reason, we buy unsliced ham, which, to our delight, is cheaper. I like the shank, because it is often the cheapest of all and not too difficult to slice. You can also grab yourself a nice butt which will work just as well for the same price or just a few pennies a pound more, depending on your store. According to our old butcher, the shank and butt are essentially the whole ham (which is the leg) chopped in half to form the separate cuts. With such little difference, I go for whichever is cheaper. (Here’s more than you ever wanted to know about ham cuts.)

Watch for a sale around the major holidays and you’ll really score big with your ol’ pigskin.

How do I cook the ham?

Preheat your oven to 350.
Put the ham in a pretty (okay, so it doesn’t have to be pretty) roasting pan with the bone side down, fat side up.
Add one cup of water to the pan. (Some experts say not to do this, but I do it…so there, experts!)
Cover it completely with aluminum foil. But aluminum foil will kill you! I know, but this ham is so juicy, you’ll die happy.
Cook to the proper temperature as explained below, and immediately remove it from the oven.
Let the ham rest covered for 20 minutes or so before slicing, so the juices redistribute throughout the ham.

How long do I cook the ham?

If the ham is pre-cooked, heat it to an internal temperature of 110-140 (Fahrenheit) and pull it from the oven, depending on how warm you want your ham. (If it’s fully cooked, you can theoretically eat it cold.)

If the ham is not pre-cooked or only partially cooked, heat it to 150-155 (Fahrenheit) and pull immediately. I know the meat police say 160, but it will continue cooking 5-10 degrees after you pull it. I pull at 150. If you wait for 160, you may have a dry ham. You’ve been warned.

Use a meat thermometer! Insert it well into the meat, but not touching the bone. if you don’t have a meat thermometer and you cook meat, buy one. If you don’t want to buy one, you’ll be cooking roughly 20-30 minutes per pound, but I won’t guarantee that your stove doesn’t run hot and that you won’t be eating a football. In that case, I wash my hands of your ham.

This is my meat thermometer:

You can buy one here.

What do I do about a glaze?

I won’t even go there! Okay, maybe just a little. There are as many ham glaze recipes out there as there are cooks to prepare them. Personally, I don’t like to be knocked out by an overwhelming shot of sugar, bourbon, cloves, or pineapple when all I really want is a nice big mouthful of meat. I want to taste the ham! Is that so wrong?!

Are you with me? It’s okay if you’re not, because you can do a quick search on any recipe site for half a gazillion glazes. Here are 68 glaze recipes from my favorite recipe site, AllRecipes.com. Read the reviews and pick your favorite…but might I recommend you keep it simple?

Because my husband likes the option of a subtle sweetness with his ham, and others in my family like the option of eating ham without going into a diabetic coma, this is the method he whipped up:

The Simple Homemaker’s Husband’s Simple Ham Sauce

Pour the pan drippings into a saucepan.
Add 1/4 cup or so of brown sugar or honey (depending on how sweet you want it and how much juice you have).
Heat it on the stove stirring to dissolve the sugar or honey, and testing for the sweetness level you’re looking for.
Adjust with water if it’s too salty or thick, and sugar or honey if you want a sweeter juice. Taste as you go and adjust gradually.
Serve it on the side as an optional au jus.

It is simple and delicious, but doesn’t coat the ham with sugar, which many people in my family can’t (or won’t) eat.

(photo credit)

How do I slice a non-sliced ham?

Insert your knife parallel to the bone and cut entirely around it. (Remember, the two L’s in the word “parallel” are parallel to each other, if you forgot your basic math.)
Slice perpendicular to the bone to make nice slices that should fall away from the bone. (You will be cutting into the length of the bone, not the end…obviously.) Do this on either side of the bone.

There will be quite a bit of meat left on the bone, just as with the store-bought spiral cuts. I like to gnaw on this when nobody’s looking remove this meat later with a small knife and use it for any number of recipes needing diced ham, including scrambled eggs, bean or potato soups, fried rice, quiche, breakfast potatoes, salad.

Save the bone and toss it into a soup, crock of beans, or pot of jambalaya.

Here’s the boring printable version of how to bake a ham:

How To Bake a Simple Ham

Author: Christy, The Simple Homemaker

Prep time: 10 mins

Total time: 10 mins

A simple, juicy, affordable ham that will not put you into a diabetic coma…at least, I hope it won’t.

Ingredients

a ham
pan
one cup water (optional)
aluminum foil
meat thermometer
oven
optional ingredients for an optional sauce – ours only requires brown sugar and a sauce pan

Instructions

Preheat your oven to 350.
Put the ham in a pretty (okay, so it doesn’t have to be pretty) roasting pan with the bone side down, fat side up.
Add one cup of water to the pan. (Some experts say not to do this, but I do it…so there, experts!)
Cover it completely with aluminum foil. But aluminum foil will kill you! I know, but this ham is so juicy, you’ll die happy.
Cook to 150 using a meat thermometer if your ham is uncooked or partially cooked. If it’s fully cooked, warm it to your desired temperature, but no warmer than 140 or you may dry it out. Blech.
Immediately remove it from the oven.
Let the ham rest covered for 20 minutes or so before slicing, so the juices redistribute throughout the ham.
Remove the drippings to a saucepan over low heat. Stir in ¼ cup brown sugar or honey, taste, and add more if desired to sweeten the juices to your desired sweetness. Serve on the side so everybody is happy!

I hope your ham turns out as juicy and delicious (and affordable) as ours! Good luck!

Let me know what you think, including your best pointers on how to bake a ham…a simple ham.

But if you talk about scoring the outside in cross hatches, stuffing cloves all over, dousing it in bourbon, and then adding pineapple and maraschino cherries, I’ll know you didn’t really read this post and don’t embrace my “simple” philosophy. (Wink.)

I’m embarrassed to admit that I have no pictures of our own hams. Years of ham baking and experimentation, and nothing to show for it but full tummies. Special thanks to all the photographers credited above…but our hams look juicier. A-hem.

Jelly Bean Gospel – The Story of Easter Told With Jelly Beans

Christy — Thu, 28 Mar 2013 08:25:13 +0000

Easter is a fun time for families, but for my family, it is all about our faith, and our faith is all about Jesus.

At Easter it can be easy to get wrapped up in the Easter breakfast and the Easter basket and the Easter ham and the Easter eggs and the Easter buffet and the Easter chocolate and the Easter brunch and the Easter leftovers…and did I mention the food?

This nifty little jelly bean poem reminds the children of the reason we celebrate Easter. It’s essentially the entire Gospel in a nutshell…or in an eggshell.

Here is what you need:

Jelly beans (Note to self: Don’t eat all the black ones this year, or it won’t work. As if I would do that…again.)
Plastic eggs, plastic snack bags, little cups, mini baskets, frosted cupcakes, chocolate baskets, gauze and ribbon—anything to contain your Jelly Bean Gospels.
A version of the Jelly Bean Gospel poem printed out.

Here is what you do:

Step 1 - Put one jelly bean of each color, along with the Jelly Bean Gospel poem, in the container. (If it’s a cupcake or chocolate basket, lay it under or beside the treat.)

That’s it! There is no step 2. I love simplicity!

Here is my version of the Jelly Bean Gospel poem:

Black is for the sins we’ve done.

Red is for the blood of God’s Son.

Purple is for the death of The King

Green is for life when Christ rose again

White is for my sins forgiven

Yellow is for my home in heaven

Pink is for my joyful face

Orange you happy for God’s grace?!

I like to stop with yellow. The last two lines are a little hokey. I don’t like to turn an amazing message that has stood on its own two feet for all time into a hokey jelly bean groaner…and that last line is a groaner. Sorry.

Here is my Jelly Bean Gospel for readers with Bible access:

Black - Romans 3:23, Romans 6:23 (sin and death)

Red - Romans 5:9 (blood)

Purple – John 19:19 (King)

Green – Matthew 28:5-6 (life)

White – Isaiah 1:18 (forgiveness)

Yellow - John 14:2-4, Revelation 21:21 (heaven)

Pink - Romans 15:13 (joy)

Orange Ephesians 2:8-9 (grace)

You can exclude the keyword, and let them discover it themselves if you prefer, or substitute other Bible verses.

Adjust this poem however you see fit ~~so you can save and eat all your favorite jelly beans~~. I first saw this concept years ago at our church, but there are 184,000 versions online (I make 184,001), so do a quick search for other options. I wrote my own, because some of the others didn’t make sense, and my kids would ask, “But WHY is orange for sins?” and “I don’t WANNA be tickled pink. I’m a boy. I wanna be tickled BLUE.” and “The fifth and sixth jelly beans don’t rhyme. That’s so lame.” I just didn’t want to go there, ya know?

Hey, if you have any questions about my faith, please ask me. I’m happy to share my faith…but I will not share my black jelly beans.

And now, a pressing question: what is your favorite color of jelly bean?

For more simple Easter ideas, visit my Easter Pinterest board entitled Simple Easter Ideas.

How to Boil, Peel, and Use Up Hard-Boiled Eggs

Christy — Thu, 21 Mar 2013 07:04:10 +0000

Last year I posted several articles about hard-boiled eggs. They were some of my most popular posts of all time. Apparently, you people are all about the incredible edible egg! And why not! Eggs are awesome. In honor of the amazing egg, here is a round-up of my best hard-boiled egg posts, as well as some newbies.

Check out this picture sent in by my sister-in-law, Karen, one of my most faithful readers from Wisconsin. It shows the difference between their old method of boiling and peeling eggs and the new method they learned right here at The Simple Homemaker. Now that’s a gorgeous egg!

Do you want gorgeous eggs? Easy as pie! Easier, really. Just follow these directions:

How to Boil a Perfect Hard-Boiled Egg

How to Peel Hard-Boiled Eggs

And if you need simple ideas for what to do with all those hard-boiled eggs, here are a few simple recipes from The Simple Homemaker:

Basic Egg Salad Recipe

Deviled Eggs and Stuffed Egg Chicks

10 Ways to Use Leftover Hard-Boiled Eggs

And here are some ideas sent in by some of my blogging friends (and my blogging daughter) from around the globe:

Stacy Makes Cents’ Mama’s Egg Salad - See what a splash of vinegar can do!

Raising the Barrs’ A Salad A Day - Hard-boiled eggs are just one of the ways she spruces up salads.

The Nourishing Home’s Avocado Egg Salad - Really? Yes, really! It looks fabulous!

Horse Crazy Bookworm’s Totally Brilliant Easter Recipes - Technically, not all of these use hard-boiled eggs, but they’re shaped like eggs, and they’re chocolate, so…close enough. (Just go with it.)

For more ideas, I created a Pinterest board entitled Using Up Hard-Boiled Eggs. It’s about using up hard-boiled eggs. Appropriately named, don’t you think? Check it out for more ideas.

Using Up Hard-Boiled Eggs on Pinterest

I hope this egg post is eggsactly what you were looking for.

Grooooaaaaaaannnnnn!

Feel free to link up any of your recipes for leftover hard-boiled eggs in the comments!

Special thanks to Karen for sending in the results of her egg experiment!

Simple Tools for a Simple Home – The Garlic Press

Christy — Wed, 20 Mar 2013 13:44:48 +0000

My husband gave me this website as a Christmas gift nearly two and a half years ago. He has been nagging encouraging me ever since to share with all of you the simple tools I use to help me efficiently manage my homeschooled family of nine and run my simple home, in particular my simple kitchen.

It took an invitation from Erin of The Humbled Homemaker to get me started on my husband’s two-year-old request. (Sorry, Babe.) With Erin’s little kick in the pants and an eye-roll from my hubby (I didn’t see it, but I totally felt it), I’m finally following his advice. Each month I will introduce you to one of the tools I use to keep it simple, improve efficiency, keep the family fed primarily from scratch (no boxes in The Simple Kitchen), and still preserve the almost non-existent counter space we have in our dinky cozy travel trailer.

Are these tools necessities? Well, essentially all I need in life is food, water, and my Savior (although you would probably all prefer I keep a layer or two of clothing between the skin God gave me and the outside world), so no. But these are tools I rely on heavily to get the job done right. They made the cut during The Great Purge when we packed up our house for good and took the Christian music mission on the road full time. (But that’s a story for another blog.)

At The Humbled Homemaker I introduce you to one of those quasi-essential tools, my beloved garlic press.

My garlic press has made cameo appearances here at The Simple Homemaker, such as in my amazing (but humble) garlic butter recipe and my homemade Italian salad dressing recipe. I use it for eggs, soups, crockpot dishes, wet rubs…you name it! When I’m lazy I press instead of slice garlic for recipes like chicken adobo. We buy masses of fresh garlic and use it in as many dishes as possible during cold and flu season, ‘cuz who wants a trailer full of pukers with no access to a washing machine. Not me, I tell ya! Not me. Shudder.

Learn all about my garlic press and read questions from real readers (and real answers from real me) to decide whether or not a real garlic press would benefit the real you. It’s all part of The Humbled Homemaker’s terrific weekly series featuring an array of guest writers chatting up their favorite kitchen tools.

Don’t miss an episode! Sign up for The Humbled Homemaker’s email updates for her weekly tool of the trade, and sign up for my updates to learn which lucky tools travel the country with us. Then take a nap, cuz that’s typing your name and email address, like, twice. Whew!

Find out if you would benefit from a garlic press. Click here. Come on, everybody’s doing it.

How to Make (amazing) Garlic Butter

Christy — Wed, 06 Mar 2013 03:56:32 +0000

This garlic butter is amazing. It’s amazing! It’s so amazing that when I make it and sit down to dinner with my family, I can’t stop talking about it. I can’t stop saying in my amazed voice, “This is amazing!”

And they can’t stop saying in their sarcastic voices, “Wow, you’re humble.”

And that’s why, at The Simple Home, we call this “Mommy’s Humble Garlic Butter.” You, however, may simply call it Amazing Garlic Butter.

The original version can be found at AllRecipes.com. The recipes are both very tweakable, so do what you like to make it work for your family, cuz that’s what cooking for the family is all about, isn’t it?

How to Make Garlic Butter

Ingredients:

1 stick butter, softened
5-ish shakes paprika
2-6 cloves minced fresh garlic
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon Italian seasoning

Optional ingredients:

2 teaspoons garlic powder (intensify the garlic flavor with garlic powder, or replace the fresh garlic entirely)
1/4 cup parmesan cheese (we like it with or without)

Directions:

1. Make sure your butter is nice and soft.

2. Add 4-6 shakes of paprika, or more for a deeper orange color. (If you’re four, you may wish to go with four, because four is fun.)

3. Add as much fresh minced garlic as you like, 1-2 cloves for a light garlic flavor, 6 for a stronger flavor. We used 6 in this batch. (See notes for more info on garlic.)

4. Add 1/2 teaspoon of salt. I like salt, and because I eat pretty much everything from scratch, it isn’t hiding in many of my foods. That’s why I don’t have an issue with a heaping half teaspoon. Adjust to your needs and tastes, but remember that salted butter varies in its salt content, so start low and add more if needed.

5. Add a teaspoon of the Italian seasoning of your choice. We usually use homemade, but for this batch we used these gorgeous Penzey’s Italian herbs gifted to us from a friend we met on our travels.

6. Mix with a spoon (or I suppose you could use some form of technology if you are desperate to wash something).

7. Taste. Adjust to your desired level of amazingness.

8. Serve. (See ideas below.)

Store your humbly amazing garlic butter in the refrigerator and use within a couple of days if you are using fresh garlic. If you are using garlic powder, store where you normally keep your butter.

Serving Ideas:

Spread it on warm fresh bread or biscuits and serve immediately.
Spread it on bread, wrap the bread in foil, and return it to the oven. Oh my! (Yeah, I know foil will kill you, but who really cares. I mean, this is amazing! I just drooled on my keyboard. Not joking.)
Saute mushrooms and onions in garlic butter for an easy side.
Use it to scramble eggs, fry eggs, or flavor cooked eggs. (It’s great for these flower or shamrock eggs.)
Spread it on a toasted hamburger bun for a garlicky butter burger.
Add it to a grilled steak. I hear angels!
Melt it and add it to any vegetables. Do it. I triple dog dare ya.
Spruce up a boring side dish of plain noodles, rice, quinoa, or other grains.
Adorn baked potatoes or use it to flavor mashed taters.
Melt it and pour it over popcorn. Oh yeah!
Stick it in a bowl, set it on the supper table, and watch what happens.
It’s so versatile, you could even wear it. Okay, maybe not.

Notes:

Adjust the garlic to your liking. We like garlic…I mean I personally seriously love garlic. Don’t stand right next to me. Garlic breath. Whew.

Test it with garlic powder instead of fresh garlic sometime to see how you prefer it. I like to tone down or replace the fresh garlic if I’m serving it raw, but if I’m using it to cook or on bread that’s going in the oven, I hit it hard with fresh garlic. Bam!

I almost always double this recipe, because it’s amazing. I may have mentioned that.

Here’s the boring printable version:

How to Make (amazing) Garlic Butter

Author: Christy, The Simple Homemaker

Recipe type: condiment

Prep time: 5 mins

Total time: 5 mins

This delicious, quick, and simple garlic butter is versatile and amazing in any of its many uses.

Ingredients

1 stick butter, softened
5-ish shakes paprika
2-6 cloves minced fresh garlic
½ teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon Italian seasoning
2 teaspoons garlic powder (optional: intensify the garlic flavor with garlic powder, or replace the fresh garlic entirely)
¼ cup parmesan cheese (optional)

Instructions

Measure.
Combine by hand.
Taste and adjust the garlic as desired, using either fresh or powdered garlic.
Serve as a spread for bread and biscuits, as a flavor enhancer for sides, or on popcorn. Put on meat or use to cook eggs and veggies.
Store in the refrigerator and use within a couple of days if you are using fresh garlic. If you are using garlic powder, store where you normally keep your butter.

Seriously, I think this is amazing…but I love butter, and I love garlic, so…there ya go.

That’s how to make garlic butter. Make it, eat it, let me know what you think!

Special thanks to my daughter Hannah of Horse Crazy Bookworm for many of the photographs, and to my helpers, butter softness tester, and tasters. You are all that and more!

The Simple Homemaker

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How to Wash a Pillow the Simple Way

How to Wash a Pillow

Do you have any tips for how to wash a pillow?

A Widow in Need and a Handcrafted Soap Giveaway ($25 Value)

Reader, Meet Mae’s Soap!

Reader, Win Mae’s Soap!

Reader, Meet Mae!

Why I Don’t Post More Often (I Blame Peter)

I’d love to hear your thoughts.

How To Bake a Ham – My Simple Recipe and Guide

How to Bake a Ham – A Simple Guide

What do I need?

Which ham should I buy?

How do I cook the ham?

How long do I cook the ham?

What do I do about a glaze?

The Simple Homemaker’s Husband’s Simple Ham Sauce

How do I slice a non-sliced ham?

Here’s the boring printable version of how to bake a ham:

Let me know what you think, including your best pointers on how to bake a ham…a simple ham.

Jelly Bean Gospel – The Story of Easter Told With Jelly Beans

And now, a pressing question: what is your favorite color of jelly bean?

How to Boil, Peel, and Use Up Hard-Boiled Eggs

Feel free to link up any of your recipes for leftover hard-boiled eggs in the comments!

Simple Tools for a Simple Home – The Garlic Press

Find out if you would benefit from a garlic press. Click here. Come on, everybody’s doing it.

How to Make (amazing) Garlic Butter

How to Make Garlic Butter

Notes:

That’s how to make garlic butter. Make it, eat it, let me know what you think!