Nursing Cover-up Review and Free Smocks for Everyone

There are two things I’ve learned as a discrete nursing mother traveling to churches across the country with my Christian musician husband:

Free Nursing Cover-UpYou know that really cool one-way glass that allows you to see out of the nursing mothers’ room, but supposedly doesn’t let anyone see into the nursing mothers’ room…emphasis on “supposedly?”  It doesn’t work.

 

Free Nursing Cover-UpAs soon as this nursing mother is situated in the nursing mothers’ room, a kindly gentleman will pop in to see if we need anything, and the curious baby will throw off the blankie cover-up just to see if that man-voice in the mothers’ room belongs to her fun daddy, which, unfortunately, it rarely does, since my man doesn’t hang out in nursing mothers’ rooms.

I am in no way implying that you yourself cannot stand in front of the TWO-way glass and nurse your baby, so, please, no nurse-ins on my driveway. My personal nursing preference is to remain as covered as possible. If I could pop up an instant tent for feeding my baby discreetly, I would, complete with a glider and stocked mini-frig. That is why I was happy to discover Udder Covers.

Udder Covers Review

I recently began using a nursing smock by a company called Udder Covers.  Get it? Udder Covers. Okay, so they could have chosen a better name. Moo.

Free Nursing Cover-Up

The product itself, however, is fantastic!

This is why:

Free Nursing Cover-UpIt is an ideal size to cover me, my baby, and the love handles left over from growing that little cutie.  It is much better than my previous nursing smock, which is approximately the size of a hankie.

 

Free Nursing Cover-UpThe smock fastens around my neck, secured by a metal O (or D) ring, and is easily adjusted with one hand—one hand, Mamas! No need to grow that third arm, after all!

 

Free Nursing Cover-Up

It fits neatly into my too-small-for-a-mama-of-seven purse, although, admittedly, it is not wrinkle-free when I pull it out. Then again, I’m not wrinkle-free either, so we’re a good match.

 

Free Nursing Cover-UpThe upper section of the smock contains bendable boning to hold it open enough for the air to circulate, because one thing I’ve learned over my extensive years of parenting is that babies like oxygen. When I’m finished, I roll the boning up, wrap the smock around it, and shove it in my purse, and it maintains its shape—don’t fold the boning, though, Girls.

Free Nursing Cover-Up

The flexible boning allows baby to see me which reduces the urge to pull off the smock to have a peek at what she’s missing…such as the aforementioned kindly gentleman in the mothers’ room.

 

 

It also allows me to see my baby, so I see this:

Free Nursing Cover-Up

While anybody looking at me sees this:

Free Nursing Cover-Up

Okay, maybe more like this:

Free Nursing Smock

Unless they do this:

Free Nursing Smock

Which the gentlemen in the mothers’ room don’t generally do.

Hey, you get a smock for free! Really! Here’s how to get your own nursing smock:

How to Get Your Own FREE Nursing Smock

There are two ways to get a free nursing smock:

  1. Order one (but pay shipping)
  2. Hmmm…apparently there’s only one way.

If you would like to order an Udder Covers smock for free, simply enter the code SIMPLE1 at checkout. You will be charged for shipping and handling. While this is not really free in my book, it is a huge savings of $32.

For an additional $5, you can upgrade to a gift set as seen here:

Free Nursing Smock

It includes

  • a smock in the chic style of your choice;
  • four cotton nursing pads that really work (really!);
  • a corresponding milk band designed to help you keep track of your feeding details. (I used the bracelet for several days and found it somewhat useful, but being an on-demand, experienced feeder, I opted not to continue using it.)

You supply the baby.

Order your free smock here!

Disclosure Statement: While you can turn the smock around backwards and transform it into a Supermom cape, it will not enable you to fly. Don’t ask me why I know this. Also, Udder Covers gave me a free gift set to test and review.  I have been using it for a couple years both at home and on the road and base my review on my personal experience and the comments of random strangers in the nursing mother rooms, nothing more.

Another Disclosure Statement: This post contains affiliate links. Any money earned through affiliate links feeds the kiddos that aren’t nursing.  

Special thanks to my photographer and my mini model for their help.Free Nursing Smock

Curious about our traveling family? Find out more at The Travel Bags.

 

What Do You Need for a New Baby?


What do you NEED for a new baby...besides the ability to survive on 30-second increments of sleep?


We were very blessed (yes, blessed) to be quite poor when expecting our first child. Our necessary frugality prevented the temptation to buy unnecessary or excessive quantities of baby gear. Seven children later, we still have a very basic list of what a parent needs for baby’s first months.

The following list is what we consider essential for small babies. No fluff, no extras, just the basic affordable essentials.

What Do You Need for a New Baby?

what do you need for a new babyCar seat—an infant car seat can serve many uses:

  • safe and legal transport in vehicles…obviously. If you deliver at a hospital, they will not discharge you if you do not have a car seat.
  • safe seat at home or away—far safer than setting baby on a couch.
  • bed. Many people, including us, use car seats as beds for several months. The shaped sides of the car seat make baby feel snug, and the properly slanted seat keeps baby’s chest and head elevated to help combat reflux, congestion, and other baby issues.

Diapers—whether you go with disposable or cloth will determine how many diapers you need.

  • Disposable—don’t buy too many newborn-size packs. Larger babies may not fit in the newborn diapers for more than one pack. Therefore, if you stock up during diaper sales, buy larger sizes.
  • Cloth—figure about 10 per day, so the number you need to buy depends on how often you plan to wash them.

Clothes—you most certainly do not need a closet full of cute little outfits for someone whose main goal in life is to get some form of bodily fluid onto everything within a five-foot radius.

  • what do you need for a new babyOnesies and sleepers (footsie PJs or “baby bags”) are really all you need, although a sleep sack and bunting are helpful if you live in cold climates or have a winter baby. Again, if you do laundry every time Venus aligns with Neptune, you’ll need more than if you do laundry every day or two. We figure 4-ish outfits a day for our leaky babies.
  • Do not stock up on too many size NB (newborn) or size 0, since they only fit for those first few weeks.
  • Buy only the essentials. If you have gift-givers in your family, they will likely show up with the cute extras that baby doesn’t “need,” but that are fun for Mama to put on the little sweetie for three minutes before baby soils them.
  • Garage sales are full of clothes that babies outgrew too quickly and which may have never been worn. All our babies were clothed from garage sales and gifts. Instead of giving baby debt and new clothes, go used!
  • While it may be your ideal to get organic cotton, collarless, side-snapping outfits, your main goal is to keep baby comfortable and safe, so you may have to set your ideals to one side and think “budget.”

Bed—your baby needs a safe place to sleep. That does not mean baby needs the cherry sleigh crib with matching glider, changing table, and dresser…and a new house to put them in.  Here are some options for baby’s sleep needs:

  • car seat (see above). Talk to your pediatrician about this. Our docs have recommended it, but I’ve also read that some discourage it because parents may slant the seat too much, making it harder for the baby to breathe. A baby feels cozier in a fitted carseat than in a big empty crib, you need a carseat anyway, they don’t require sheets, and baby can be right by mama all the time.
  • what do you need for a new babyused crib. Do the safety checks! One little check I rarely see mentioned is not to use a crib held together by duct tape. Yup. Been there.
  • bassinet or carriage.
  • pack and play (formerly known as play pen).
  • co-sleeping crib or bassinet.
  • your bed. Bed-sharing is a hotly debated topic in mama world. If you co-sleep or bed-share, do it safely!

Blankets—thin receiving blankets are ideal for swaddling babies, and soft blankets are nice for holding and comforting baby. Blankets are also an option for nursing discretely.

Nursing support/information or formula and bottles—while breast is best and will save you as much as $2000 the first year alone, not everybody can supply enough milk, despite their best efforts. Do give it your best try and seek lots of support, whether from La Leche League, local support groups, books, websites, or other experienced moms. It may seem difficult at first, but once you both get the hang of it, it’s great! (I’ve nursed 7!) If you absolutely cannot nurse, don’t feel guilty! Discuss formula options with your pediatrician, or make your own.

Those are the essentials. A few additional items are also on my practically essential list:

what do you need for a new babyBurp Cloths—better termed spew catchers. The best are the functional, plain variety, such as cheap, but absorbent cloth diapers or bibs. These are not on the absolutely essential list, because you can just use a small towel. Their purpose is to keep your clothes clean and baby dry from drool, spit-up, and the myriad of other fantastic surprises those little cuties spew at Mama. Plop ‘em on your lap, over your shoulder, in your pocket, anywhere…the burp cloths, not the baby.

Carrier—in my life, a baby carrier should be bumped up to the necessity list, but every mama’s life is different. Regardless, a baby carrier just makes sense, and here’s why:

  • Baby is happiest in Mama’s arms, and this mama is happiest with baby in her arms rather than in a stroller, swing, or crying in a crib.
  • By holding baby in a carrier, Mama still has two free hands to make sandwiches, change laundry, hold toddler hands, help with algebra, braid hair, play matchbox cars—you name it!
  • Keeping baby close to Mama helps babies grow, sleep, find comfort, stay safe, and learn about their world.
  • Wearing baby increases milk production for nursing mamas, and makes it easy to feed baby at any time.
  • Using a baby carrier when out and about keeps baby with Mama at all times, preventing the “I just looked away for two seconds” disasters that may occur with strollers or shopping carts.
  • Wearing baby at grocery stores is far safer than putting the infant seat on the cart, which has resulted in very serious injuries to babies.

Carriers come as back/front packs, slings, or wraps. I have used all three, and each has its perks. The Simple Homemaker will be giving away a $45 Moby Wrap in the next few weeks, so subscribe to get the heads up.

what do you need for a new babywhat do you need for a new babywhat do you need for a new baby

Nursing smock—a blanket can work well for discreet nursing if that’s your preference (and it is mine), so it really doesn’t belong on the essential list, but I have used my nursing smock enough to earn it a place of distinction here. Get one for the cost of shipping at Udder Covers using the code SIMPLE1.

what do you need for a new babywhat do you need for a new babywhat do you need for a new baby

Teen or pre-teen girls–raising a baby is much easier with a handful of trained girls helping out! Baby number seven is loving having four capable (and two entertaining) older siblings who know how to take care of a baby. No, you can’t have mine.  Make your own.

What about the pacifiers, strollers, swing, changing table, baby station, bouncy chair, boppy, breast pump, bathtub, and on and on and on?

I said “essentials.” As you grow with your baby and learn about your particular parenting nuances and where you need additional support (bathtub, for example), you may wish to add an item or three. Also, while some items are fantastic, like a diaper bag, you may well be able to get by perfectly well with a large purse you already have. Proceed with caution as you add to your supply list, as most baby purchases go unused, or are used so seldom that they are not worth the money or clutter.

Dislosure statement: if you make a purchase through one of the above Amazon links, I will earn a small commission, but…don’t do it. Why not? Haven’t you been paying attention? For the price of, say, this cute little pair of Carter’s PJs from Amazon, you could buy between 15 and 80 sleepers at garage sales.  Can you say “Never do laundry again!”?

In your experience, what do you need for a new baby?

 

Baby Days and Giveaways

In honor of spring, Mother’s Day, my children, cookies, kittens, and _________ (fill in the blank), I am launching a series of posts about babies. (I’ll still be posting on other topics, so don’t run away if babies bore you or you’re grossed out by the bodily fluid factor.)

I’m starting the series with a guest post on The Humbled Homemaker’s Natural Phenomenon series, where I share my experiences having relatively natural births in relatively unnatural settings.

baby

While I believe a successful delivery ultimately means the baby that was previously on the inside is now on the outside and wasn’t dropped in the process, birthing has, unfortunately, been made to seem far more complicated than that. The result is that too too many of us mamas fret over the birth, many of us because we hope to go as natural as possible, whether at home, in birthing centers, or in the car on the way to the hospital.

In my post I share how you can have a simple, natural birth in a hospital (I’ve had 7), but, just as importantly (if not moreso), I stress that you should not stress! Your birth will not be exactly as you envision it. It will not. Accept that, and you’ve removed a tremendous amount of unnecessary emotional clutter from your life. Remove another heavy load of clutter afterward by not rehashing and second-guessing every choice you made during the delivery. Simply put, don’t emotionally overcomplicate the process and your expectations, and you’ll have more time to savor the sweet smells, sounds, and snuggles of your new blessing.

Read How to Achieve a Natural Birth in a Hospital: A Tale of 7 Natural Hospital Births.

I am also hosting a myriad of baby-related giveaways over the next few weeks. I love doing giveaways! I have a huge backlog of great things to give you groovy people. Why the holdup? Because I thoroughly, and I mean thoroughly review each product before telling you about it. If I don’t like it, I’m not going to give it to you or tell you to buy it!

That reminds me of my children: “This tastes disgustin’, Mama. You can have it.”

Baby

Our first giveaway begins on Monday. It is a new ebook by Modern Alternative Mama, entitled Breast to Bib. It is a cookbook and comprehensive parent’s guide to help simplify feeding baby from birth through the toddler years. It isn’t too complicated and reaffirms several of my own beliefs (so it’s gotta be good, right?).

Our next giveaway is a fantastic nursing smock that totally makes me look like a movie star. (Stop laughing. I have photo documentation.)

Our final baby-related giveaway is for a Moby Wrap valued at $45. You heard right! So tell all your friends to subscribe to The Simple Homemaker for the heads-up on giveaways, to sign up for the wrap, and to give it to you if they win.

All giveaways will be announced in the site updates, so subscribe today in the right sidebar (free as always)!

Baby

If you’re interested in the natural side of birthing, check out The Humbled Homemaker’s informative Natural Phenomenon series. If you’d prefer to be strung up on a fast-moving ceiling fan by your toenails wearing nothing but your skivvies in a room full of bullies from your high school years rather than deliver naturally, no worries! It is never my intention to make people feel guilty (or afraid) for having differing opinions or preferences, particularly on topics that have no definite right or wrong. Guilt is the antithesis of simple, and this is a guilt-free zone. Guilt-free, my friends! And you’ll find that The Humbled Homemaker’s series shares this same view. To quote her latest post: Give yourselves grace, mamas—and do the best you can.” Click on the banner below to be beamed over to her series.

Natural Phenomenon Series Banner

Love in Action All Wrapped Up

Love one another and you will be happy.
It’s as simple and as difficult as that.

~Michael Leunig

Love in Action

Showing love goes far beyond saying “I love you.”  Actions speak much, much, much louder than words.

You can show deep love through simple actions—lending a hand, lending an ear, sharing a smile, sharing a sorrow, sharing time, washing feet…

To your husband

  • Don’t criticize—replace criticism with gratitude. Let him know he is your hero and that you appreciate him.
  • Smile—you share a connection nobody else has; connect with a smile that makes him go weak in the knees, that whispers love.
  • Dress it up—dress for your husband just as you did in the early days of your marriage.
  • Thoughtful service—perform small acts of service to show your husband you are thinking of him and value him.
  • Feed your man—the way to a man’s heart is still through his stomach, but don’t neglect his stomach once you have his heart.
  • The power of touch—claim him with a kiss, yes, right there in front of the kids. They’ll groan, but inwardly they’ll feel secure knowing their parents love each other.
  • Listen—give your husband your undivided attention, eyes, ears, mind. Share his interests and his life.

To your children

  • Smile even more—let them see their value reflected in your face every time they walk into a room.
  • Hugs and kisses—hug your children, especially when they don’t deserve affection, because that is when they need it most.
  • Play and laugh—get on your child’s level and play and laugh; laugh while you play, laugh while you work, just laugh.
  • Read aloud—hold hands and jump into the pages of a book for shared adventures and memories, teaching moments and snuggle time.
  • Teach your children—give your children the gift of your time and experience; teach them to keep a home, work hard, think, defend their faith, say they’re sorry, forgive, be a friend, and love.
  • Cut the criticism—encourage, praise, build up, correct, guide, cherish, and respect. When it is time for criticism, serve with a heaping helping of love.
  • Listen and look—listen with your eyes, mind, body, and heart without trying to fix or teach or correct. Just listen.

Love is, above all, the gift of oneself.

~Jean Anouilh

Love in Action: Listen and Look

Today is the final day of our Love in Action posts. If you have seen a positive change in yourself and a good response from your husband and children, it is motivation enough to keep at it. Permanent change is gradual, so give yourself time to make these loving actions a habit.

Love in Action Day 14

Listen and Look

I cannot begin to estimate the importance of today’s actions.

Listen and Look.

Little children want to tell their parents about everything from the smallest find to the strangest dream.  Teens may go on and on about something the parents may feel is trivial, but which, to the teen, is a huge life issue. It is easy for the busy parent to glaze over and listen only with the face. You know the face. It’s the one that looks sort of like it’s listening, with a mouth that says “uh-huh, I see, that’s fine, oh, okay, that’s nice,” even when it isn’t nice.  It’s the one with the eyes that just aren’t quite there, and the brain that’s . . . well, you know the face. Let’s kiss that fakey-fake face a long overdue adios and start truly listening to our children before they stop confiding in us.

Listen Completely.

Listen with your eyes and your face and your smile.  Listen with your hands. Listen with your whole body.

When a child wants to show you something out of your view, get up! Get up and look and listen.

Don’t let your cell phone steal precious, irretrievable moments away from you and your child. Don’t let a book, computer, or television show take priority over your precious children who will never again be the age they are at this moment.  Don’t let your blog rank higher than your babies.  You can never get this moment back.

Faithfully listening to your children will show them that you care enough to make them a priority.  This will lead to a stronger bond and greater trust, which will lead to even more open communication.  As they grow older and more independent, you will have a clear glimpse of their hearts just by listening.

When you have consistent, open conversations with your children, many opportunities will arise to guide their hearts.  Use these opportunities.  Be careful, however, to resist the temptation to constantly play critic or handy-mom.  Children of any age who confide in you don’t want to have their grammar corrected, to be scolded or lectured, or to hear “you know what you should do” from a parent eager to fix. If such responses don’t turn off the conversation entirely, they will at least slow the flow.  Just listen. And feel free to follow up with questions that show you are interested.

Give your children your undivided attention whenever they need it. If you cannot listen immediately, give them a specific time when you can, and then follow through.

You will reap the benefits of truly listening for decades.  You will never, not once, regret the time you devote to your children.

Many things we need can wait.
The child cannot.

Now is the time his bones are formed,
his mind developed.
To him we cannot say tomorrow;
his name is today.

~Gabriela Mistral


If you have enjoyed simplifying your life by focusing on the basics, which is The Simple Homemaker’s modus operandi, please sign up for blog updates.  

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Love in Action: Cut the Criticism

There are two posts left in our Love in Action series. I hope you are trying to make the simple actions from previous days a habit in your life.

Love in Action Day 13

I confess, this action is not simple.  There.  I said it.  Let’s do it anyway!

Cut the criticism.

I will never, ever tell you not to correct your child, guide your child, train your child in the way he should go.  That is crucial to parenting, and more parents should give it the seriousness it deserves.

What needs to be cut from our parenting are the little things that slide off our tongues.  The remarks over incidentals that don’t matter.  The words spoken rashly when tired or stressed.  The corrections that come out at the wrong time or in front of the wrong people.  The remarks that show that we doubt a child’s ability or intelligence . . . even if we do.

Let patience be your guide.

When a child spills milk or breaks a dish, it is childish behavior, not willful disobedience.  When a teen makes a cooking mistake or does poorly on a building project he worked hard on, it is a learning experience.  Too often we parents shame the child, however unintentionally, for a mistake. The incident has embarrassed the child already. There is time to teach the child to be more careful later.  Handling the immediate consequences of the incident with graciousness will help the child most.

When you come home tired from the store and notice the children did not do their chores, greet everybody lovingly first.  Then ask them to complete their jobs.  When you are not tired, assemble the team and discuss your need to be able to trust them to take on their responsibilities in your absence.

Don’t interrupt an animated story from your child to correct a grammar error or mispronunciation. Don’t criticize a new piano composition written for your birthday or a piece of artwork drawn just for you. Don’t correct spelling on a “love letter to Mama.” There will be time later to work on grammar, music theory, art, and spelling. Savor the child’s joy.

Let smiles and legitimate praise be on your lips.

Love in Action: Cut the Criticism

I am certainly not telling you to flatter your children or build them up with false praise. Rather, find some way to immediately encourage them and, later, when they are ready, help them grow.

Honest, loving corrective criticism is necessary. It’s a plain fact.  It helps children learn and grow.  It is crucial for children to learn to handle correction properly, so they don’t pout when a spouse, an employer, or a pastor “discusses” an issue with them.  Pouting past age two is not pretty, and even at two it’s questionable. There is most definitely a time for corrective criticism.

In our zeal as parents, however, and often in our frustration, we too often are too quick to criticize too harshly. Such hasty words cut our children’s hearts and extinguish a bit of their childlike joy. Can’t you almost see the joy seep out of their faces and trusting eyes when we respond critically. I’ve seen it far too often caused by my own hasty words.

As overly criticized children grow older, they come to expect your criticism.  That is hugely damaging to the openness of the communication between you.  Also, when your “not-good-enoughs” are too prominent, most children will stop valuing your opinion.  They’ve had too much parental doubting, snapping, questioning, critiquing, lecturing, and not enough honest encouragement, support, and respect.  You become a dark shadow in their lives instead of a joyful light.

Temper your words with love.

Be respectful, not reactionary. When the situation has ended and you are both calm, bring out the “life lesson.” And maybe some cookies.

A torn jacket is soon mended,
but hard words bruise the heart of a child.

~Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Please share your thoughts below.  I have truly been enjoying your comments!

Craftsy Block of the MonthHelpful Tool: Take on a learning experience together, to better learn how your child responds to lessons, critique, and growth.  A couple of my girls and I have long been wanting to learn to quilt.  We recently signed up for the free Craftsy Block of the Month class at Craftsy.com.  It’s a simple way to fulfill a goal we’ve long had, and, because the classes are recorded, we can work it into our own often zany schedule.  Craftsy sells hugely discounted craft supplies, for this and all their classes, but we are using scraps from sewing projects gone by, making it almost entirely free! Care to join us?  Did I mention it’s free?  Of course I did.

Click here to check out the free quilting class and Craftsy’s great deals!

Craftsy

 

Love in Action: Teach Your Children

Teach Your Children
Learning how to hook up the trailer.

As parents, it is our duty to feed, clothe, and house our children.  It is our duty to wipe dirty bottoms, runny noses, messy faces, and spilled milk.  But our duties as parents go beyond merely ensuring the survival of our offspring.

Love in Action Day 12

Whether or not today’s action comes naturally to you, you can make it part of your daily life.  Eventually it will be as natural as breathing.  Well, almost.  Plus, these small actions today will make your life far simpler in the long run.  If your oldest are toddlers, you’re just going to have to trust me on this.

Teach your children.

There are two types of teaching: passive and active.

When you teach passively, your natural behavior and actions speak to the children. They will learn by example and imitation.  Here’s proof: Who among us hasn’t woken one day to the sorrow of seeing our own faults and shortcomings mirrored in our children?  Uh-huh. It is important to be the person you want your child to become, to represent the character traits and faith you would like realized in your own children.  A life of example is often the best teacher.  Nevertheless, passive teaching is not enough.

What we are dealing with today is active teaching.

In active teaching, parents intentionally take time to pass on a skill set or knowledge to their children.

Love in Action: Teach Your Kids
Learning to care selflessly for others is a priceless gift.

The rather backward trend in America today is to raise children who are active in dance, track, soccer, basketball, swimming, clubs, football, softball, and debate.  However, those same children grow up, get married, and have no idea how to run a home, form a budget, fix a drawer, cook a meal, or plan a trip.  They know nothing about gardening, child care, or home and auto maintenance.  Their idea of relationships is a popularity contest.  Basically, they are still kids who will be raising kids of their own to be overgrown kids.

When you fail to teach your children the skills they will need for life, you are placing them on a very difficult road.  Worse, you are failing them. Eventually, they will need to learn these things themselves.  If you don’t teach them, they will have to play teacher and student simultaneously.

It is extremely difficult to teach yourself how to manage a home and tend children when you are in the midst of managing a home and tending children. It is downright discouraging to try to learn how to budget when you are already thousands of dollars in debt.  It is a monumental task to figure out how to lovingly manage conflict if issues were avoided rather than dealt with in your childhood or if contrary children were sent away rather than trained.   

Teach your children how to cook, clean, budget, fix things, maintain a home, maintain a car, change a tire, do laundry properly, write letters, plant a garden, change a diaper.  Teach them how to greet a stranger, greet a friend, answer the phone, treat a lady, treat a man, deal with peer pressure, handle conflict, and ask for forgiveness.  And for heaven’s sake, teach them some table manners!

Love in Action: Teach Your Children
Fixing a drawer with a screwdriver, three hands, and a foot.

Whatever it is that you do in a day, involve and teach your children.

Don’t shoo your two-year-old out of the kitchen when you are batch cooking.  Give her a safe knife and some mushrooms to cut. By the time boys and girls are ten, they should be able to prepare an entire meal, with supervision.  Don’t leave them and your future grandchildren at the mercy of Burger King.

Don’t think girls don’t need to know how to change a tire. When you have a flat, call them all out.  Eventually, have them change it for you. Someday they will have a flat.  Do you want them at the mercy of whoever is driving by at the time?  No way!

When something needs fixing, let the three-year-old help with his plastic hammer.  Call in your teens and ask for their ideas on how it should be done.  Work together!  Raise handy men and capable women.

In the same way, practice legitimate budgeting.  Discuss relationship building.  Talk about family bonds and share stories from your childhood.  Teach manners, chivalry, and respect.  Talk over issues at work, in the neighborhood, or at church in a non-gossipy manner, so the children can learn to think and respond rationally.  Work together through family challenges so when (not if) they encounter them in their own families, they will be prepared.

Don’t expect your children to raise themselves in their thirties.

And as the potential future mother-in-law of seven, I beg you

Please don’t expect their future husbands or wives to do your parenting job.

Seriously.  I’m on my knees here, people.

Love in Action: Teach Your Kids
Give them the skills and they will make their world beautiful.

If you’re still not convinced, here’s an overheard conversation between two of my children hard at work managing the home, one of whom is still learning humility:

Child 1, needing humility training: Aren’t we awesome?!

Child 2, humility school graduate: No, our parents are awesome for training us.

Someday they will thank you.

How do you teach your children the life skills they will need?  What skills do parents often overlook?


Helpful Tools: My eldest was four when my grandmother gave me the book Life Skills for Kids: Equipping Your Child for the Real World.  It lists what skills your child should be capable of at certain ages (all children are different–we all know that, right?!), as well as a systematic approach to teaching them what they will someday need to know.

In Life Skills for Kids I read that a teenager should be able to manage a home.  I despaired, thinking my daughter would never learn to tie her shoes much less not burn down the house in 9 years.  Now she is 15 and our second is 13.  They can manage a home–cooking, cleaning, doing minor repairs, doing laundry, handling minor finances, performing business duties, managing pet care, some gardening, menu planning, some budgeting, tending younger children or the sick, correspondence, computer work, and more–learning by our sides every step of the way.  I am not bragging–I am offering a vision.  People, train them!  Please!  (Yup, I’m still begging. It’s that important,)

Buy Life Skills for Kids (the book, not the actual skills) here.